N E W S F L A S H ------------------ The safety of the world is in jeopardy. Latest events in the world of Wombling have meant that this could be the end of civilisation as we know it. Mr Yeti, speaking yesterday at a conference for the Ministry of Small Furry Animals and Other OTC Recruits Annual Piss Up, said "These wombles are complete Bastards and are dangerous to the life and limb of the country. They seem to spend all of their time associating with known Glaswegian fatties and using large words." Dr Yeti of the Institute for the Study of Wombles, Sheep and Other Things to be used When The Toilet Roll Runs Out said yesterday: "Tomskus Tomskus is a particularly dangerous breed of womble and should not be approached under any circumstances. If seen run like hell!" Hamish McYeti of the Edinburgh Institute for the Study of the Haggis, the Loch Ness Monster and other Scottish Inventions to Attract Loud Mouthed American Tourists said of the incident: "Och, ye ken the Haggis, Jimmy? Well the Womble is a particularly nasty breed. Och, I cannae mind where I put my whisky!" Meanwhile, the world lives in fear.
NEWS FLASH 2 ____________ Mr Hamish McYeti of the Edinburgh Institute for the study of the haggis, the Loch Ness Monster and other Scottish Inventions to Attract Loud Mouthed American Tourists, suffered serious injuries today when he was attacked in his home by the vicious Womble. The Womble was seen leaving the incident carrying a bottle of Mr McYeti's prized 12 year old Glenlivet whisky. The Wombles whereabouts is now unknown, although it is thought still to be in the Edinburgh area. So if you see the little FUCKER run for your live. OR ELSE !!!!