The Teddy Bears' Rave Up

If you go down to the woods today,
You'll never believe your eyes.
If you go down to the woods today,
You're in for a big surprise.
For every bear that ever there was
Is there today for certain because
Today's  the day the teddy bears have their rave-up !

There's Angel bears who come on their bikes
All dressed in their leather gear,
And gallons of Scrumpy all green and lumpy
And 'orrible Watneys' beer.
Yogi downed a pint of it quick,
Was very promptly 'orribly sick,
And filled up both of Paddington's new wellies.

Rave-up time for teddy bears,
The little teddy bears are having a lovely time today.
Grooving to those heavy sounds
That only Status Quo know how to play.
Cresta Bear is freakin' out :
"It's frothy man !" - he's blowing his little brain,
Rupert Bear is on a trip,
Winnie-the-Pooh is doing a strip,
They reckon that he's on the game.

If you go down to the woods today,
You'd better not go alone.
It's lovely down in the woods today,
But safer to stay at home.
'Cos it's a really freaky scene,
A big butch bear is playing the queen,
And they don't call him sugar puff for nothing !

Now every bear that ever there was is sure of a treat today,
For Mummy and Daddy and Baby Bear have found a new game to play,
Beneath the trees, where nobody sees
Is Goldilocks tied up on her knees,
You bet your life she's getting more than porridge.

Rave up time for teddy bears
The little teddy bears are having a lovely time today.
Groping in the undergrowth,
Oh what would Enid Blyton have to say ?
See them as they prance around,
Collapsing on the ground
They haven't got any cares.
At twelve o'clock the coppers are coming to take them all away,
'Cos they've been naughty little teddy bears !