sex - have sex

     sex [ options ] usercode [ usercode ... ]

     If no usernames are specified,  names  are taken from  the
     LOVERS environment variable.

     Options to make things more interesting are as  follows:

-1  wiggle
-a  external stimulus (aphrodisiac) option
-b  buggery
-B    bestiality with 
-c  chocolate sauce option
-C  chaining option (cuffs included) (see also -m -s -W)
-d    get a date with the features described in 
-e  exhibitionism (image sent to all machines on the net)
-f  foreplay option
-F  nasal sex with plants
-i  coitus interruptus (messy!)
-j  jacuzzi option (California sites only)
-l  leather option
-L  Lick option
-m  masochism (see -s)
-M  triple parallel (Menage a Trois) option
-n  necrophilia (if target process is not dead, program kills it)
-N  Nipple option
-o  oral option
-O  parallel access (flower-picking party)
-p  debug option (proposition only)
-P  pedophilia (must specify a child process)
-q  quickie (wham, bam, thank you, ma'am)
-s  sadism (target must set -m)
-S  sundae option
-v  voyeurism (surveys the entire net)
-v1 vaseline option
-V  Vibrator option
-w  whipped cream option
-W  whips (see also -s, -C, and -m)
-x  extra (loop routine - cumming back for more)
-y  yoghurt option

     'Missing External'      = "Where did I put the vibrator"
     'Mismatch error'        = One component is non-standard
     'Next without For'      = Next process has been started without foreplay.
     'Syntax Error'          = Error in chat up line
     'I/O Error'             = Input-Output is too slow.
     'Unknown Procedure'     = The process is non-standard but fun.
     'No Such Line'          = Chat up line has gone down
     'Out of Memory'         = You had too much to drink last night.
     'Illeagal Input'        = 3 fingers are quite enough
     'Undefined Variable'    = Decide how much you are going to pay.
     'Identifier not Used'   = Don't give her your name.
     'Do without Loop'       = At least do it twice
     'Inserted ; '           = Only with users permission bit set.
     'Insufficient data'     = "Oh yeah, I've taken precautions"
     'Your party is not
      responding'            = Unsuccessful strip-poker request call
     'Access Denied'         = Chastity bit set.
     'Unknown Host Name'     = "Whose party is it?"
     'Output Only'           = don't try anal sex
     'Can't Access Floppy'   = "Where the hell is it!"
     'Server Not Responding' = Either too much drink or impotent.
     'Too many Arguments'    = Don't try talking to partner.
     'Peripheral in Use'     = Remove chewing-gum before administering blowjob
     'Bad Baud Rate'         = Use your imagination or she'll get bored.
     'Copy is Unreadable'    = Porno-mags are not for reading
     'Already Open'          = Just undo the button and off they come.
     'Process Timed Out'     = Premature ejaculation has occured
     'Out of Range'          = Her husband is in London
     'Unmatched ('           = Boobs are of different sizes.
     'Permission Denied'     = I told you not to try anal sex
     'No repeat'             = Not tonight darling, I'm too tired.
     'Source is Protected'   = Very sensible, always keep one with you.
     'Invalid Entry'         = Don't take advantage of disabled people.
     'CPU down'              = Had to happen sooner or later.
     'Connection closed by
      foreign host'          = Husband arrival
     'Illegal Direct'        = "hi babe, wanna f**k" is not implimented.
     'Can't Read'            = People want intellectuals these days
     'Begin Without End'     = Not likely to occur
     'only 3 connections
      allowed'               = Stop being greedy!
     'bad track'             = told u not to do it to Des O'Connor!
     'write protected'       = its ok, shes had the op.
     'cannot open'           = her knees are surgically joined
     'file already open'     = shes a slut
     'no manual entry'       = switch to auto pilot
     'no such process'       = forget it, its impossible
     '65 bytes free'         = after this, bites cost 10p each.
     'no command'            = she knows what you want
     'your party has logged
      out'                   = you were too long at the chemists
     'RTFM error'            = see karma sutra
     'mistake'               = yup, thats her arsehole!
     'no device specified'   = which vibrator do you want?
     'no such device'        = if device no. > 15"
     'Stopped'               = Doorbell activated
     'Stopped by operator'   = Phone rings
     'Interupt'              = son arrives at location
     'dlog file exists'      = you logged out before ejaculation
     'missing end statement' = she had gone when you awoke.
     'missing bit'           = Jewish operator

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Pete Bevin,