The Lord's Prayer: As according to the trendy Bishops.

Our Father, who may or may not be in heaven, but it's the concept that counts,
Hallowed be thy name, at least non-comitally,
Thy Kingdom come, but not too soon since now we're Bishops
                          the egalitarian bit isn't sounding that promising,
Thy will be done, by those we tell to do it, on earth as it is in heaven
                  (Assuming, of course that heaven isn't just a big metaphor),
Give us this day our daily bread AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN,
And forgive us our tresspasses in the unlikely event of us making any,
As we may or may not forgive those who tresspass against us,
                                    'cos you know how  annoying people can be,
And lead us not into temptation unless we'd enjoy it,
For thine is the Kingdom, the Power and The Glory,
For ever and ever..

     .... I lift up mine eyes unto the hills:
                 From whence cometh my help?
       My help cometh from the privitaisation of water,
          That all may partake of thee.

        Glory be to the master,and to the dean, and even unto the bursar,
        As it was in the beginning,
        Wasn't since the Balliol JCR abolished them,
        But will be when the NUS gets abolished,

      Oxford without end


[submitted by Mark P. Harrison (m89mph) with apologies to Yvette Cooper (Balliol JCR Pres)]