Pickup Lines


He: "What was that?"
She: "What was what?"
He: "That sound."
She: "I didn't hear anything."
He: "It was the sound of my heart breaking."


There's always Harlan Ellison's great failure:
Q: Wha'dya say to a little fuck?
A: Go away, little fuck.


How about the best response to an unwanted pickup?
Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: Female impersonator.
You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.....

I'd love to, but...

Top Ten Elf Pickup Lines

  1. "I'm down here"
  2. "Just because I've got bells on my shoes doesn't mean I'm a sissy"
  3. "I was once a lawn ornament for John Bon Jovi"
  4. "I can get you off the naughty list"
  5. "I have certain needs that can't be satisfied by working on toys"
  6. "I'm a magical being. Take off your bra."
  7. "No, no. I don't bake cookies. You're thinking of those dorks over at Keebler"
  8. "I get a thimbleful of tequila in me and I turn into a wild man"
  9. "You'd look great in a Raggedy Ann wig"
  10. "I can eat my weight in cocktail wieners"

Very Unsuccessful Pick-up Lines:


Back to the humour page

Pete Bevin, pete@petebevin.com