The Student Meaning of Liff

ASTON                   Adeviant act
STIRLING                Sexual excitement
RUSHOLME                Diarrhoea
FISHGUARD               A condom
BURY                    Sexual act
SHREWSBURY              An affair
SHAFTSBURY              Say no more
AYLESBURY               A visit to the clinic in the morning
CHESTERFIELD            Heavy petting
LICHFIELD               The rash that seds you to AYLESBURY
KETTERING               Hopeless chat up line
BURNLEY                 The morning after a curry
LUTON                   Grotty little town of the M1
LITTLEHAMPTON           The droop experienced aftera heavy nights drinking
WOLVERHAMPTON           Bestiality
NORTHAMPTON             Sexual organ (upper body)
SOUTHAMPTON             Sexual organ (lower body)
HAMPTON COURT           A careless re-zip
KEELE                   What you do when your drunk
BARTLEY GREEN           The colour you go when you lose your credit card
HANDSWORTH              The girl you've been after for ages
HANDSWORTH WOOD         She says yes
BANGOR                  See SHAFTSBURY
EXETER                  Coitus interuptus
MAIDENHEAD              Male fantasy
EALING                  Female fantasy
REDDITCH                what you get off a toilet seat
TORONTO                 The loud noise emanating from your stomach during a
                        particularly quiet moment in a lecture
BIGGIN HILL             1) Expression of complete supprise
                        2) Bulge in mans trousers unsuccessfully concealed
                NB 1 and 2 summed up by expression "What the Biggin hill was
                                                        that!!!"
OINEY                   The feeling of your sleve after leening on wet car
SHEPTON MALLET          A hammer that won't go down
LLANDRINDOD             Stupid welsh place name
OLD MELDRUM             The acting style used by women in black and white
                        movies
NEW BIGGIN BY THE SEA   The first time you have sex on a beach
SANDBACH                The itchy feeling in ones genitalia after NEW BIGGIN
                        BY THE SEA
BURGHEAD                A loud exclamation of surprise when someone opes a
                        pack of cigarettes at 2am and finds it empty
DUFFTOWN                See LUTON
HALTWHISTLE             A broken kettle
GODMANCHESTER           Where James Anderton lives
EALINGSWOLD             KY jelly
STONEHAVEN              Bill Wyman's retirement home
FAKENHAM                What every male chauvanist pig believes his partner to
                        be incapable of

For those of you unblievers who think I made up the names in this STUDENT
MEANING OF LIFF. Get yourself a map of Great Britain and find them for
yourselves.