The new department computer will have implementations of some or all of the
following languages.


SLOBOL

Slower than a Commodore disc drive.  Most compilers give you time for a coffee,
only with SLOBOL can you go to Bolivia and pick the beans for yourself.


Sartre

An exciting new concept in programming - Existential Languages.	 The program
statements don't actually do anthing, they just are.


NOGO (snail graphics)

This language exists in two forms.  One is a complex TIL which can be used for
AI programming.	 The other is a kiddies graphics toy.  Apart from the name, the
connection is absolutely sod all.


BARBARIC (Beginner's All-purpose Really Big And Rubbish Instruction Code)

There are hundreds of versions of this language.  The biggest and best is
Yoko Motive BARBARIC.  This has hundreds of different instructions, conforms
to no standards at all (e.g. closing " can be omitted), has no structures
and is ridiculously slow - as used on Amsturd machines.


Arque BARBARIC

Opposite of Yoke Motive BARBARIC, as used on Oak's newest micro. Runs so
bloody fast the O/P devices don't actually notice the sudden burst of bits
which has already ended oh dear what's the point?


               Selecting a Programming Language Made Easy
                   Daniel Solomon & David Rosenblueth
         Department of Computer Science, University of Waterloo
                   Waterloo, Ontario, Canada N2L 3G1

   With such a large selection of programming languages it can be
difficult to choose one for a particular project. Reading the manuals to
evaluate the languages is a time consuming process. On the other hand,
most people already have a fairly good idea of how various automobiles
compare. So in order to assist those trying to choose a language, we
have prepared a chart that matches programming languages with comparable
automobiles.

Assembler     - A Formula I race car. Very fast, but difficult to drive and
                expensive to maintain.
FORTRAN II    - A Model T Ford. Once it was king of the road.
FORTRAN IV    - A Model A Ford.
FORTRAN 77    - A six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and
                no seat belts.
COBOL         - A delivery van. It's bulky and ugly, but it does the work.
BASIC         - A second-hand Rambler with a rebuilt engine and patched
                upholstry. Your dad bought it for you to learn to drive.
                You'll ditch the car as soon as you can afford a new one.
PL/I          - A Cadillac convertible with automatic transmission, a two-
                tone paint job, white-wall tires, chrome exhaust pipes, and
                fuzzy dice hanging in the windshield
C             - A black Firebird, the all-macho car. Comes with optional
                seat belts (lint) and optional fuzz buster (escape to
                assembler).
ALGOL 60      - An Austin Mini. Boy, that's a small car.
Pascal        - A Volkswagon Beetle. It's small but sturdy. Was once
                popular with intellectuals.
Modula II     - A Volkswagon Rabbit with a trailer hitch.
ALGOL 68      - An Astin Martin. An impressive car, but not just anyone
                can drive it.
LISP          - An electric car. It's simple but slow. Seat belts are not
                available.
PROLOG/LUCID  - Prototype concept-cars.
Maple/MACSYMA - All-terrain vehicles.
FORTH         - A go-cart.
LOGO          - A kiddie's replica of a Rolls Royce. Comes with a real
                engine and a working horn.
APL           - A double-decker bus. Its takes rows and columns of
                passengers to the same place all at the same time. But, it
                drives only in reverse gear, and is instrumented in Greek.
Ada           - An army-green Mercedes-Benz staff car. Power steering,
                power brakes and automatic transmission are all standard.
                No other colors or options are available. If it's good
                enough for the generals, it's good enough for you.
                Manufacturing delays due to difficulties reading the
                design specification are starting to clear up.