Insurance Humour

"IS THIS REALLY WHAT HAPPENED?"...

Motor car accidents often leave the driver in a state of shock. Perhaps it was in a state of shock that the following statements were recorded on insurance forms when drivers attempted to summarize the details of accidents in as few words as possible.

• I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
• The direct cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
• Coming home, I drove in the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
• The other car collided with mine without giving me warning of its intentions.
• I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
• I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
• A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
• A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
• The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
• I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
• In an attempt to kill a fly I hit a telephone pole.
• I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached the intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my view, and I didn't see the other car.
• I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
• I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble, when my Universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
• As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no STOP sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
• To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struch a pedestrian.
• My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
• I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat found that I had fractured my skull.
• I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
• The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

From: Andrew <akearn@lineone.net>
To: pete@petebevin.com
Date: Sunday, November 26, 2000 9:20 PM
Subject: Real life insurance claims....

Pete,

I once used to work for an insurance company in the UK and during that time I came accross some real beauties.... Here's one that I remember that's not on your page.

Woman Driver: "I ran over Mr. Brown whilst I was waving to Mr. Smith, whom I ran over last week."

The names, of course, have been canged to protect the guilty and confuse the innocent.

Thanks for the laughs,

Andrew.