The Bus Conductor
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        A bus conductor who worked for WM Travel got fed up with his meagre
wages,so he decided to get a job in Venezuala which he had seen advertised
in Sunday Sport.The location was nice and the rates of pay very good,so he
packed his bags and went off to his new job abroad.
        Many weeks went by and the bus conductor was very happy,even the
language barrier was posing no problems at all.In fact he couldn't have been
happier.
        One day he was helping an old lady off the bus,who,not used to being
given helping hands stepped back in amazement,slipped and fell off the bus
and under the wheels of a passing lorry.She was dead on arrival at the hospital.
A policeman who had witnessed what had happened,made out his report,which his
commanding officer read and came to the conclusion that the old lady was pushed
out by the Bus Conductor.He immediately orderd the arrest of the Conductor.
        Before he knew what had happened,the poor Conductor was put up in front
of a judge and jury.The poor man was found guilty by the jury and the judge
passed sentence that the Bus Conductor should be executed by electrocution.
        The fateful day came,and the poor conductor was dragged out of his
cell and down to the electric chair.The guards strapped him in and he was read
the following message.
        "You have been tried and found guilty of murder and your sentence is
death by electrocution.By our law if you survive electrocution three times
then you are free to go."
        The guard then asked the Conductor if he had any last request.
        "I'll have a banana,please",asked the man
        "A banana ?",the guard asked.
        "Yes,a banana.",was the reply.
        The guard gave the man a banana,which he ate.The guards hand reached
for the switch,which he suddenly pulled 10,000 volts zapped through the
conductors body.When the power was switched off,the Conductor was amazingly
still alive!
        The guard could not believe it.He set the dial to 20,000 volts and
again asked the man if he had a last request.Again the man asked for a banana,
which he ate.
        The guard again pulled the switch,smoke,steam and sparks filled the
room,but when the power was turned off the conductor was still alive.
        The guard was absolutely gobsmacked,he had never known anything like
this before.This time he set the power to 50,000 volts.And when he asked the
conductor if he had a last request again a banana was asked for.The man ate
his banana  and the switch was flicked on.Even more smoke,steam and sparks
filled the room.The guard turned the power off.He could not believe it for
the conductor was still alive!!!!
        "You're free to go",said the Guard.
        "Thanks.",said the conductor,who got up to leave after hi was unstrappedfrom the chair.
        "Before you go",the Guard asked,"what's the secret about the bananas?
Why does it keep you alive?"
        "It's not the bananas",said the man,"I'm just a BAD CONDUCTOR"