The Legend of Chernobyl Sam

From: Jshartwell <>
Subject: Very 'Smutty' Item (but amusing)

This is one of those things which has existed in various versions over
the years.  I've typed up this version from my archives.  Might be too
strong for your pages, but thought I'd share it anyhow.  Enjoy!

This is the sad legend of Chernobyl Sam
Who lived by a nuclear power facility,
And, when the tale began, was an ordinary man,
With ordinary abilities.

One dick and two balls, no more and no less,
That was what Sam had fitted
And with that tackle he felt blessed,
For his chums were all likewise fitted.

That was before Chernobyl went bang,
And leaked that radiation,
Life it changed for Chernobyl Sam,
Due to nuclear mutation.

He was out on his farm in a turnip field
Vigorously wielding his hoe,
Well all of a sudden he'd doubled his yield
Cos he'd felt something grow,

And there in his pants, to his surprise
Was not one dick, but two,
Well Sam he couldn't believe his eyes,
It looked too good to be true.

It may be Chernobyl got me into this fix,
Said Sam with nary a frown,
He thought of the fun he could have with two dicks,
And he drove straight into town.

There he met Charlotte, the local harlot,
Chernobyl's three-titted town whore,
Eyes wide with surprise, the girl went scarlet,
When he showed her his double bore.

"You've got quite a couple, so I must charge double,
If you do it with both," she cried,
Sam gave her his roubles, he didn't want trouble,
Dropped his pants and yelled "Open wide!"

Well it may be a sin, only one would go in,
There wasn't room for the pair,
Those dicks were too thick, they should've been thin,
So he stuck the second elsewhere.

He thrust them in turns, till the friction burned,
And Charlotte cried "no more!"
One in the churn and one up the stern
Was too much for the doughty whore.

If you do double entry, you gotta go gently,
As all good accountants know,
So when she got dented around both entries,
She chucked him back out in the snow.

Now Chernobyl Sam felt twice a man,
As he checked on his two cocks with glee,
But his prideful glance down his underpants,
Showed him not two balls but three!

Those knackers hung low, they swung to and fro,
He could swing them onto his shoulder,
Tie them in a knot or tie them in a bow;
It made him feel much bolder.

There was no concealing the elation he was feeling,
As they reached to the floor when at rest,
He got a horny feeling as his bollocks hit the ceiling,
With two cocks and three balls he was blessed!

With a smile, not a frown, he went back into town,
With his balls tucked into one boot,
Another tart he found and threw her to the ground,
Took aim and prepared to shoot.

The whore took it all, that great double tool,
She wasn't deterred by girth,
Like a demon fueled by his triple balls
Sam fucked for all he was worth,

He sighed in bliss as he came with a hiss,
And his balls hung down to his toes,
His old single dick not at all was missed,
As he shot her a double load,

He sighed in pleasure as he gave her full measure,
And a double stream of juice,
But after those endeavors he tripped over his treasure -
Those balls hanging low and loose.

For if you please, they'd wrapped round his knees,
Then round both ankles wound,
And when he tried to ease his testicles free,
He fell pole-axed to the ground.

Around both ankles were his balls entangled,
And he could not prise them free,
Or else he'd mangle those bollocks which dangled,
And maybe lose all three.

It's sad to tell, how he tripped and fell,
And shuffled to the door,
Or how Sam felt as his balls began to swell,
In front of the laughing whore.

Chernobyl Sam swore at his great double bore,
At the balls on which he tripped,
They stretched then tore, in a gout of gore,
As the skin of his ball-bag ripped.

With no more fuel to power that tool,
In dismay Chernobyl Sam wept,
Leaving all three balls in a red bloody pool,
Back to his fields he crept.

Two balls and one dick, is enough to do the trick,
You don't need anything more,
Be it thin or thick, be grateful for your prick,
And for balls which don't hang to the floor.

But if you're jealous tell me true, just what is the ruddy use
Of owning a double-barrel gun,
Mighty fine it may look, but it's not good news,
If you've got no ammunition.

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Pete Bevin,