CANA - by Rowan Atkinson.

	And on the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee, and it
came to pass that all the wine was drunk. And the mother of Jesus said unto the

	"They have no wine." And Jesus said unto the servants,

	"Fill six water pots with water." And they did so. And when the steward
of the feast did drink of the water from the pots it had become wine. And he
knew not from whence it had come. But the servants did know and they applauded
loudly in the kitchen , and said unto the Lord,

	"How the hell did you do that?" And enquired of him, "Do you do
children's parties?" And the Lord said,

	"No." But the servants did press him, saying,

	"Go on - give us another one." And so He brought forth a carrot and

	"Behold this - for it is a carrot." And all around him knew that it was
so - for it was orange, with a green top. And he did place a large red cloth
over carrot and then removed it and lo, he held in his hand a white rabbit. And
all were amazed and said,

	"This guys really good, he should turn professional." And they brought
him on a stretcher a man who was sick of the palsey. And they cried unto Him,

	"Maestro - this man is sick of the palsey." And the Lord said,

	"If I had to spend my whole life on a stretcher, I'd be pretty sick of
the palsey too." And they were filled with joy, and cried out,

	"Lord - thy one lines are as good as thy tricks. Thou art indeed an all
round family entertainer." And there came unto Him a woman called Mary who had
seen the Lord and believed. And Jesus said unto her,

	"Put on a tutu. And lie down in this box." And then took He forth a saw
and cleft her in twain and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. But
Jesus said,

	"Oh yea of little faith." And He threw open the box, and lo Mary was
whole and all agreed this was a completely brilliant trick,and they hadn't had
so much fun since Nazareth won the cup. And Jesus was well pleased with her and

	"From now on you shall be known as Sharon. For that is a good name for
an assistant." And the people said,

	"We've never seen anything like this before. This is great. You must be
the son of God." And the Lord said,

	"No. I am he who comes before." And they were amazed and said,

	"Then Master, how will we know the true Lord?" And Jesus said,

	"By His name shall yea know Him. And he shall have a slightly religious
name. And He shall be called Paul. And Daniels shall he be called."

	"PAUL DANIELS?!", they cried. And the Lord said,

	"Yes, something like that."