[By way of explanation - some of the people mentioned are from City University
 London, where this document originated]

		The World Famous Pete More Book of lists

	Compiled by Pete More using the Meridian Pascal Compiler.

	Credits: Pete More
		 The International Faculty of actuaries
		 Not the Nine o'clock News team
		 Orly Manor (Dept of social Statistics)


The Ten Least (Most if you are an actuary) Interesting Book of lists.

1) The Laundry lists of Irving Wallace and David Wallechinsky.
2) The Guiness book of Meaningless rotary club publicity stunts and sponsered
   24-hour yoghurt drinking attempts.
3) The "Rolling stone" Almanac of unusually stained Motel Bed Linen 1956-1959
4) The Consumer association alphabetical index of alternative vinyl wall tile
5) The Hunter Davies Bogside Book of british Suburban Pavements.
6) Who's who in Liege
7) A second book of Laundry lists of Irving Wallace and David Wallechinsky.
8) The Oxford companion to 20th Century Caravanning
9) 1001 Australian Table Wines.
10) Penis Variation in Pre-columbian Yorkshire by weight and volume.

4 Definitions of infinity

1) Bigger than the biggest thing you can imagine (plus a bit)
2) The reciprical of zero
3) Twice the distance to Eternity, and back.
4) 1000 miles less than the Ideal distance between Dartford and Wigan.

10 Things Less interesting than an Actuary.

1) Grass Growing (in slow motion).
2) A busfull of Accountants.
3) 3 Mathematics students.
4) Driving across Australia.
5) Kylie Minogue's album.
6) 'A Country Practice'
7) A blank wall.
8) An Archetects Convention.
9) The stories Adrian's Quilt could tell if quilts could speak.
10) Accountants v Archetects Cricket match.

10 ways to get your room as neat as Pete's

1) Invite 1/2 a dozen Palace fans to stay for the weekend.
2) Tip off the police about a consignment of drugs being hidden there.
3) Keep pigs in it.
4) Hold a Poltergiest's convention.
5) Invite some libians for tea and call in the SAS.
6) Get Magnus Pike to explain the theory of nuclear fission.
7) Hold a Slayer concert there.
8) Get Dopey to do the decorating when he's pissed (2 pints of lager).
9) Conduct Nuclear tests there.
10) Invite Aaron for tea.

6 People who have had unix commands named after them.

1) James Last
2) Jimmy Page
3) Peter More
4) Lex Luther
5) TeX Avery
6) Kelvin Logout.

20 Places that have employed City sandwich students

1) Damion Thorn Industries
2) Drax Industries
3) Leiths (Caterers) Ltd
4) City Technology Ltd
5) M.Lynch & Grandsons (Consultants) Ltd
6) Laker Airlines
7) Wal Basses
8) The Kebeb Shop, Old Street
9) Northampton Hall Bar
10) The Americal Embassy, Iran
11) MI5
12) CI5
13) KGB
14) Spectre
15) Goodies, No fixed Abode
16) Proctor Rent Collection Agency
17) V.Solemn (Undertakers) Ltd
18) Arther Daley Enterprises
19) The City University (Janitor Dept)
20) The Post Office, Faulkland Is.

Top ten objects to ask for at B & Q or Halfords.

1) Tin of Tartan Paint
2) 100 Polka-dots
3) Bubble for a spirit level
4) Spoilers for a Lada.
5) Sun roof for a C5
6) a C5
7) Nothing
8) Ladder for a skirting board
9) Egg Fou Yung with fried rice
10) The manager

10 Jobs done by City University Students During the Summer hols.

1) Moving Carpets
2) Stacking Toilet rolls.
3) Walking the streets.
4) Audi Sport Fork-lift Rally Driver
5) Waiter at Barclaycard, Northampton.
6) Barman at IBM, Portsmouth.
7) Bit parts in Eastenders.
8) Dreaming about Meg.
9) Catching Sheep, tieing their legs with string
    and packing them in boxes of 40.
10) nothing

Old TV Personalities don't die, they...

1) Get there own game show
2) Do coffee comercials
3) Do fun runs for charity
4) Open shopping Arcades
5) Appear in a 3-2-1 sketch
6) Sing on charity records
7) Turn up on the news when someone better-known dies
8) Go on chat shows when there is no-one famous in town
9) Get caught by the VATman
10) Play an ugly sister in Cinderella at the Bournemouth palais.