John Thomas Allcock, He lived north west of Winstable
He had that certain something that the girls found irresistable
He was a fine upstanding fellow and they said for what its worth
His mother was frightened by a donkey 6 months before his birth

His mother was frightened by a donkey 6 months before his birth
His mother was frightened by a donkey 6 months before his birth
His mother was frightened by a donkey 6 months before his birth
His mother was frightened by a donkey 6 months before his birth
His mother was frightened by a donkey 6 months before his birth

And when the midwife heaved him out
The first thing she could sieze on
It was not an arm and it was not a leg
And i guess that that is the reason whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!!!!!

He is the man with the biggest plonker in the world
(Dingle-dangle strap it to your ankle)
He keeps it in his trousers tightly curled
(Dingle-dangle strap it to your ankle)
It is a yard and a half and a foot in width
And more when it is unfuuuuuuuuuuurrrled

He's the man with the biggest plonker in the world
He's the man with the biggest plonker in the world
He's the man with the biggest plonker in the world
He's the man with the biggest plonker in the world
He's the man with the biggest plonker in the world

John Thomas Allcock, he grew up virile, tall and strong
And he went to China where everybody said,
Look! "Theres a lad with one draggin on the ground"     (DRAGON)

REPEAT CHORUS

John T. Allcock
He died
Oh yes he did
And because of rigommortis
They couldnot shut the coffin lid
And you know why??????

Because he had an extremely large penis
Because he had an extremely large penis

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Pete Bevin, pete@petebevin.com